milk bar mondays - apple pie layer cake

Get ready for the greatest cake ever.

Like seriously.

It is layer upon layer of amazing flavors to form the Apple Pie Layer Cake, the next installment for Milk Bar Mondays.

There are so many things that I love about this cake.  The main thing being eeeeverything.  In Matt's words, "it's the best thing I've ever eaten in my life."  High praise indeed.

But it really is that good.   I don't know how to say it any plainer.  It tastes like an apple pie in cake form.  Hence the name of the... ugh, you get it.

And the presentation is just so impressive.  You can see each of the layers, which are just begging you to dig in.  Drooool.

I'm seriously beginning to think this cookbook is the best thing ever written.

I'm going to keep this short and sweet because I'm in Colorado visiting with my sister, Jenny, before she leaves for "an undisclosed location in Southwest Asia" for the next 9 months.  To say that it'll be hard is putting it lightly.  So, I've tasked myself with figuring out how to ship her cakes like this one. :)

Anywho, I know that reading through the recipe is pretty intimidating, but it is so worth it.  I pinky promise.

Apple Pie Layer Cake
makes 1 (6 inch) layer cake, 5 to 6 inches tall; serves 6 to 8

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1 recipe       Barely Brown Butter Cake
1 recipe       Apple Cider Soak
1 recipe       Liquid Cheesecake
1 recipe       Pie Crumb
1 recipe       Apple Pie Filling
1 recipe       Pie Crumb Frosting

1 6-inch cake ring
2 strips acetate (3” x 20”)

To assemble the cake:
Put a piece of parchment or a Silpat on the counter.  Invert the cake onto it and peel off the parchment or Silpat from the bottom of the cake.  Use the cake ring to stamp out 2 circles from the cake.  These are your top 2 cake layers.  The remaining cake “scrap” will come together to make the bottom layer.

For Layer 1, the bottom: Clean the cake ring and place it in the center of a sheet pan lined with clean parchment or a Silpat.  Use 1 strip of acetate to line the inside of the cake ring.  Put the cake scraps inside the ring and use the back of your hand to tamp the scraps together into a flat even layer.  

Dunk a pastry brush in the apple cider soak and give the layer of cake a good bath of half of the soak.

Use the back of a spoon to spread half of the liquid cheesecake in an even layer over the cake.

Sprinkle one-third of the remaining half recipe of pie crumbs evenly over the liquid cheesecake.  Use the back of your hand to anchor them in place.

Use the back of a spoon to spread one-half of the apple pie filling as evenly as possible over the crumbs.

For Layer 2, the middle:  With your index finger, gently tuck the second strip of acetate between the cake ring and the top ¼ inch of the first strip of acetate, so that you have a clear ring of acetate 5 to 6 inches tall – high enough to support the height of the finished cake.  Set a cake round on top of the filling and repeat the process for layer 1 (if 1 of your 2 cake rounds is jankier than the other, use it here in the middle and save the prettier one for the top).

For Layer 3, the top: Nestle the remaining cake round into the apple pie filling.  Cover the top of the cake with all of the pie crumb frosting.  Give it volume and swirls, or do as we do and opt for a perfectly flat top.  Garnish the frosting with the remaining pie crumbs.

Transfer the sheet pan to the freezer and freeze for a minimum of 12 hours to set the cake and filling. The cake will keep in the freezer for up to 2 weeks.

At least 3 hours before you are ready to serve the cake, pull the sheet pan out of the freezer and, using your fingers and thumbs, pop the cake out of the cake ring.  Gently peel off the acetate and transfer the cake to a platter or cake stand.  Let it defrost in the fridge for a minimum of 3 hours (wrapped well in plastic, it can be refrigerated for up to 5 days).

Slice the cake into wedges and serve.
 
Barely Brown Butter Cake
makes 1 Quarter Sheet Pan

40 g Brown Butter (2 tablespoons)
55 g Butter (4 tablespoons, 1/2 stick)
250 g Granulated Sugar (1 1/4 cups)
60 g Light Brown Sugar (1/4 cup tightly packed)
3 Eggs
110 g Buttermilk (1/2 cup)
65 g Grapeseed Oil (1/3 cup)
2 g Vanilla Extract (1/2  teaspoon)
185 g Cake Flour (1 1/2 cups)
4 g Baking Powder (1 teaspoon)
4 g Kosher Salt (1 teaspoon)

Heat the oven to 350 degrees F.

To make the brown butter, place 2 tablespoons of butter in a microwave-safe bowl and top with a microwave-safe plate.  Microwave for 3-5 minutes.  The butter will pop while browning.  Check the butter, and if not browned enough, microwave again in 1 minute increments.  While the brown butter is cooling, stir periodically to incorporate the caramelized bits of butter.  Cool completely.

Combine the butters and sugars in the bowl of a stand mixer fitted with the paddle attachment and cream together on medium-high for 2 to 3 minutes.  Scrape down the sides of the bowl, add the eggs, and mix on medium high for 2 to 3 minutes.  Scrape down the sides of the bowl once more.

Stream in the buttermilk, oil, and vanilla while the paddle swirls on low speed.  Increase the speed to medium-high and paddle 5 to 6 minutes, until the mixture is practically white, twice the size of your original fluffy butter-and-sugar mixture, and completely homogenous.  You’re basically forcing too much liquid into an already fatty mixture that doesn’t want to make room for it, so if it doesn’t look right after 6 minutes, keep mixing.  Stop the mixer and scraped down the sides of the bowl.

On very low speed, add the cake flour, baking powder, and salt.  Mix for 45 to 60 seconds, just until your batter comes together and any remnants of dry ingredients have been incorporated.  Scrape down the sides of the bowl.  Mix on low speed for another 45 seconds to ensure that any little lumps of cake flour are incorporated.

Pam-spray a quarter sheet pan and line it with parchment, or just line the pan with a Silpat.  Using a spatula, spread the cake batter in an even layer in the pan.  Bake for 30 to 35 minutes.  The cake will rise and puff, doubling in size, but will remain slightly buttery and dense.  At 30 minutes, gently poke the edge of the cake with your finger: the cake should bounce back slightly and the center should no longer be jiggly.  Leave the cake in the oven for an extra 3 to 5 minutes if it doesn’t pass these tests.

Take the cake out of the oven and cool on a wire rack, or, in a pinch, in the fridge or freezer.  The cooled cake can be stored in the fridge, wrapped in plastic wrap, for up to 5 days.

Apple Cider Soak
makes about 60 g (1/4 cup)

55 g Apple Cider (1/4 cup)
5 g Light Brown Sugar (1 teaspoon tightly packed)
0.25 g Ground Cinnamon (pinch)

Whisk together all of the ingredients in a small bowl until the sugar is completely dissolved.

Liquid Cheesecake
makes one 6” baking dish

227 g Cream Cheese (8 ounces)
150 g Sugar (3/4 cup)
15 g Cornstarch (1 tablespoon)
2 g Kosher Salt (1/2 teaspoon)
25 g Milk (2 tablespoons)
1 Egg

Heat oven to 300 degrees F.  Put cream cheese into the bowl of a stand mixer fitted with the paddle, and beat on medium speed for 2 minutes.  Scrape down the sides of the bowl.  Add the sugar and mix for 1-2 minutes, until the sugar has been completely incorporated.  Scrape down the sides of the bowl.

Whisk together the cornstarch and salt in a medium bowl.  Whisk in the milk in a slow, steady stream, then whisk in the egg until the slurry is homogenous.

With the mixer on a medium low speed stream in the egg slurry.  Paddle for 3 or 4 minutes, until the mixture is smooth and loose.  Scrape down the sides of the bowl.

Line the sides and bottom of a 6” x 6” baking pan with plastic wrap.  Pour the cheesecake batter into the pan and bake for 15 minutes.  It is done when it is set on the edges but still jiggly in the center.  If the edges aren't quite set, bake for 5 minute increments until it's done- no more than 25 minutes.

Cool completely to finish the baking process and allow the cheesecake to set.  It will be creamy, and spreadable and can be stored in the fridge in an air-tight container for up to a week.

Pie Crumb
makes about 350 g (2 3/4 cups)

240 g Flour (1 1/2 cups)
18 g Sugar (2 tablespoons)
3 g Kosher Salt (3/4 teaspoon)
115 g Butter, melted (8 tablespoons, 1 stick)
20 g Water (1 1/2 tablespoons)

Heat the oven to 350 degrees F

Combine the flour, sugar, and salt in the bowl of a stand mixer fitted with the paddle attachment and paddle on low speed until well mixed.

Add the butter and water and paddle on low speed until the mixture starts to come together in small clusters.

Spread the clusters on a parchment – or Silpat-lined sheet pan.  Bake for 25 minutes, breaking them up occasionally.  The crumbs should be golden brown and still slightly moist to the touch at that point; they will dry and harden as they cool.

Let the crumbs cool completely.  Stored in an airtight container, the crumbs will keep fresh for 1 week at room temperature or 1 month in the fridge or freezer.

Apple Pie Filling
makes about 400 g (1 3/4 cups)

1 Lemon
300 g Granny Smith Apples (2 medium )
14 g Butter (1 tablespoon)
150 g Light Brown Sugar (2/3 cup tightly packed)
1 g Ground Cinnamon (1/2 teaspoon)
1 g Kosher Salt (1/4 teaspoon)

Fill a medium bowl halfway with cold tap water.  Juice the lemon into it.  Fish out and discard any seeds.  You will use this lemon water to keep your apple pieces looking fresh and pert.

Peel the apples, then halve and quarter them.  Put each apple quarter on its side and cut a small slice down the length of the apple to remove the seeds and core.  Cut each apple quarter lengthwise into thirds and then crosswise into fourths, leaving you with 12 small pieces from every apple quarter.  Transfer these pieces to the lemon water as you go.

When you’re ready to cook, drain the apples (discard the lemon water) and combine them in a medium pot with the remaining ingredients.  Slowly bring to a boil over medium heat, using a spoon to gently stir the mixture as it heats up and the apples begin to release liquid.  Reduce the heat and simmer the apples gently for 3 to 5 minutes.  Be careful not to cook the apples so much that they turn into applesauce.

Transfer to a container and put in the fridge to cool down.  Once completely cooled, the filling can be stored in the fridge in an airtight container for up to 1 week; do not freeze.
 
Pie Crumb Frosting
makes about 220 g (3/4 cup), or enough for 2 Apple Pie Layer Cakes, or 1 generously frosted cake

1/2 recipe Pie Crumb
110 g Milk (1/2 cup)
2 g Kosher Salt (1/2 teaspoon)
40 g Butter, at room temperature (3 tablespoons)
40 g Confectioners’ Sugar (1/4 cup)

Combine the pie crumbs, milk, and salt in a blender, turn the speed to medium-high, and puree until smooth and homogenous.  It will take 1 to 3 minutes (depending on the awesomeness of your blender).  If the mixture does not catch on your blender blade, turn off the blender, take a small teaspoon, and scrape down the sides of the canister, remembering to scraped under the blade, then try again.

Combine the butter and confectioners’ sugar in the bowl of a stand mixer fitted with the paddle attachment and cream together on medium-high for 2 to 3 minutes, until fluffy and pale yellow.  Scrape down the sides of the bowl with a spatula.

On low speed, paddle in the contents of the blender.  After 1 minute, crank the speed up to medium-high and let her rip for another 2 minutes.  Scrape down the sides of the bowl.  If the mixture is not a uniform, very pale, barely tan color, give the bowl another scrape and mix for one more minute.

Use the frosting immediately, or store it in an airtight container in the fridge for up to 1 week.

Source: Momofuku Milk Bar cookbook

Don't forget to go visit the rest of the Milk Bar Monday crew!  Please go say hi and check out their takes on the Apple Pie Layer Cake!

Cassie at Bake Your Day
Erin at Big Fat Baker
Audra at The Baker Chick
Jacqueline at The Dusty Baker
Krissy at Krissy's Creations

Follow the Milk Bar Monday ladies on Twitter! 

melting chocolate soufflés

Hiiiiiii.

You're gonna want to make these Melting Chocolate Soufflés.

... Chocolate Lava Cakes.

... Molten Chocolate Cakes.

Ugh, whatever!  Delicious, ooey, gooey, chocolate cakes.

Chocolate cakes that are... wait for it... GLUTEN-FREE!  Yea-yuhhhh!

The recipe for these chocolate soufflés is from Roy's, which is a Hawaiian Fusion restaurant that we love.  We go almost every time we visit Matt's brother in Las Vegas, and we went to the one on the Big Island last summer.  It's safe to say that it is our favorite restaurant.

So, the recipe tells you to chill the batter overnight.  It's like a melted chocolate slumber party in the fridge that I wasn't invited to.  Extremely unfair.

But, I waited.  Which may have been the hardest thing ever.

Until I had to line the ramekins with parchment paper.  O M G.  Have you tried that?  Arghhhhh!  It's the most annoying and expletive-inducing kitchen task.  Screw you, parchment!

I know.  I am not a person that was blessed with patience.

Good thing that these soufflés are worth the wait.  They are so amazing!  Even more so when paired with a fresh raspberry coulis.  The sweet, yet tart sauce is a perfect complement, and the color is just gorgeous!

So, like I said, you're gonna want to make these.  Make the batter tonight, which will take you all of 10 minutes.  Then, bake them up tomorrow for your honey bunch.  They will love you forever.

Melting Chocolate Soufflés with Fresh Raspberry Coulis {Gluten-Free}
makes 2 soufflés

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Ingredients:
2whole eggs
2 egg yolks
1/2 cup sugar
1 1/2 tablespoons cornstarch
6 tablespoons butter
4 ounces semi-sweet chocolate , chopped (I used Ghirardelli)

Directions:
In a small bowl, whisk together the eggs and egg yolks.  Set aside.

In the bowl of a stand mixer fitted with the whisk attachment, mix together the sugar and cornstarch.

In a saucepan over medium heat, bring the butter to a simmer.  Add in the chopped chocolate .  Stir until the chocolate mixture is melted, smooth, and starts to bubble around the edges.  Remove from heat.

With the mixer on low, pour in the chocolate mixture and mix until combined.  With the mixer still on low, slowly pour in the eggs, whisking until the batter is smooth.  Transfer the batter to a bowl.  Cover and refrigerate overnight.

Preheat oven to 400 degrees F.  Line each soufflé ring mold with a strip of parchment paper and spray with non-stick spray.  Line a baking sheet with parchment paper and place the molds on top.  (For ramekins, line the bottom of each ramekin with a circle of parchment paper.  Spray the bottom and sides of the ramekins with non-stick spray.  Place ramekins on a baking sheet.)

Fill each ring mold or ramekin 2/3 full with the soufflé batter.  Bake on the top rack for 20-30 minutes, or until the top is just set, but the center is still melty.  Remove the baking sheet from the oven.  Slide a metal spatula under each soufflé, and using a pair of tongs, carefully transfer to a serving plate.  Gently lift off the ring mold and remove the parchment paper.  For ramekins, run a knife around the edge, then carefully invert the soufflé to remove, then place it on a serving dish.

Dust the soufflés with powdered sugar.  Serve immediately with fresh raspberry coulis (recipe below) and ice cream, if desired.  Enjoy!

Fresh Raspberry Coulis
2 ounces fresh raspberries (about 12 berries)
2-3 tablespoons sugar
1 teaspoon lemon juice, optional

In a blender or food processor, combine the raspberries, sugar, and lemon juice (if using).  Test for sweetness and add more sugar if needed.  Pour into a fine-mesh strainer to remove the seeds.  Use immediately or refrigerate for 3 days.

*NOTES:
- You could easily double or triple the recipe.  Leftover batter keeps in the refrigerator for up to 10 days.
- Soufflés could even be baked in a well-greased cupcake pan.  Baking time should be reduced.
- To ensure that soufflés are gluten-free, check your brand of cornstarch, as all are not gluten-free.

Source: chocolate soufflé recipe from Roy Yamaguchi of Roy's

red velvet crème brulée

Omg you guys.  Seriously.

I made you Red Velvet Crème Brulée.

Fer realz.

I kept seeing everyone post red velvet recipes for Valentine's Day, and feeling a little left out, my brain whined, "heyyyy, I wanna play..."  So, I pouted and thought about the dark chocolate créme brulée I was planning on making.  And then... and THEN...

I totally dreamed about it one night.  I woke up euphoric, knowing that I had just dreamed up something freakin' awesome.  Something that I couldn't recall, then finally remembered after 3 days of slowly turning into a crazed maniac.  I just looove when that happens.


Not.  

I made a couple of batches to make sure the flavors were all there.  I could also phrase that as: I-made-more-than-one-batch-so-that-I-could-eat-more-because-it-is-so-dadgum-good-and-I-licked-every-bowl-clean-and-wish-I-had-more-right-now.

Don't even act like I didn't sprinkle on more sugar halfway through so I could have more caramel-y burnt sugar to tap through.

I know yesterday I was talking a teeny bit of smack about Valentine's Day.  But don't worry.  We made up.  So, if you're looking for the ultimate V-Day dessert, this is it.

Red and pink.  Hearts.  Red velvet.  Boom.

Sprinkle on some powdered sugar to make it fancier!

Red Velvet Crème Brulée for Two
makes 2 servings

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Ingredients:
1 1/2  ounces dark chocolate, finely chopped
3 egg yolks
2 tablespoons sugar, divided, plus more for topping
1/2 cup heavy cream
1/4 cup buttermilk
1/2 vanilla bean, split
2-3 drops red food coloring (I used Americolor Super Red gel)

Directions:
Preheat oven to 300 degrees F.

Place the chopped chocolate in a small bowl.  Set aside.

In a large bowl, whisk together the egg yolks and 1 tablespoon of sugar.  Set aside.

In a saucepan over medium heat, bring the remaining tablespoon of sugar, heavy cream, buttermilk, and split vanilla bean to a simmer.  Once the mixture starts to get foamy, remove from heat.  Take out the vanilla bean halves and scrape out the seeds, adding the seeds back to the mixture.  Pour the mixture over the chopped chocolate and let sit for one minute.  Gently stir until the chocolate is completely melted.

Slowly pour half of the chocolate mixture into the eggs while whisking.  Continue to whisk, and slowly pour in the remaining chocolate mixture.

Add 2 drops of the red food coloring and whisk.  Add another drop if needed.

Strain the custard into a spouted measuring cup.  Evenly divide the custard between two ramekins.

Place the ramekins into a baking dish.  Pour boiling water into the baking dish until the water comes up to about the custard level.

Bake 25-60 minutes (depending on the size of the ramekin), or until the custard is set (it should still be jiggly in the center).  Remove the baking dish from the oven and let the ramekins cool in the water bath.

Transfer to the refrigerator to chill for at least 4 hours.

Once chilled, sprinkle a generous amount of sugar on the top of each custard.  Using a kitchen torch, caramelize the sugar.  (If you don’t have a kitchen torch, place the ramekins under the broiler until the sugar is caramelized, keeping a close eye on them.)  Let sit about 5 minutes before serving.

Enjoy!

Source: heavily adapted from Not So Humble Pie

Liiiiiick

pink champagne cupcakes for two

What colors are romantic to you?

I know Valentine's Day is all about red and pink.  But, I dunno.  It's just not that romantic to me.

To me, it's all about pale pink and gold.  Vintage colors.  Like Paris in the late 1700's to early 1800's.  Come on, it was even called the Romantic Era.  And nothing says romance like cholera.

Just kidding.

Seriously though, if I could go back to a period of time, that's where I'd want to go.  I thought a lot about this after we watched the movie, Midnight in Paris, which was, to quote Matt, "delightful".  (haha, who says that?!)  Anyway, I've never been to Paris, but I know I would loooove it.  Especially if I got to go back in time at midnight and party with Marie.  Hollaaaa!

So, inspired by my love of vintage Paris, I made you romantic little cupcakes with champagne.  Pink champagne.  And gold sprinkles.  Ooh la la.

But unlike the queen of excess, I wanted to make a treat that was perfect for two people.  So this recipe makes 4 cupcakes.  Yessss, that is a two person portion.  Don't argue.

You should totally make these cupcakes for Valentine's Day and share them with someone you love.  Cuddle up, toast with the leftover champagne, and talk about what time period you'd like to go back in time to.  A perfectly romantic night.

Pink Champagne Cupcakes for Two
makes 4 cupcakes

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Ingredients:
1 egg white
1/3 cup sugar
2 tablespoons unsalted butter, melted
1/4 teaspoon vanilla extract
1/3 cup PLUS 2 tablespoons flour
1/8 teaspoon baking soda
scant 1/8 teaspoon baking powder
pinch of salt
2 1/2 tablespoons pink champagne
2 tablespoons sour cream or greek yogurt (I used light)
1 small drop pink food coloring (I used Americolor Soft Pink gel)

Directions:
Preheat oven to 350 degrees F.  Line a cupcake pan with 4 liners.

In a medium bowl, whisk together the egg white and sugar until completely combined.  Slowly drizzle in the melted butter while whisking, and mix until combined.  Mix in the vanilla extract.

Add the flour, baking soda, baking powder, and salt to the bowl.  Whisk together until fully incorporated.

Add the champagne and sour cream, and whisk until fully mixed.  Using a toothpick, place a small drop of pink food coloring and mix.  Add more until desired color is reached.

Evenly divide the batter between the 4 cupcake liners.  Bake 16-20 minutes, or until toothpick inserted into the center comes out clean.  Let cupcakes cool in pan for 5 minutes, then transfer to a wire rack to cool completely.

Pink Champagne Frosting
1/4 cup (1/2) stick unsalted butter, softened
1-1 1/2 cups powdered sugar, sifted
2-3 teaspoons pink champagne
1 small drop pink food coloring (I used Americolor Soft Pink gel)

Directions:
In a medium bowl, beat butter and 1 cup of powdered sugar together using a hand mixer.  When combined and fluffy, add 2 teaspoons champagne and mix until combined.  If the frosting is too stiff, add more champagne.  If the frosting is too runny, add more powdered sugar.  Using a toothpick, place a small drop of pink food coloring and mix.  Add more until desired color is reached.  

Frost cupcakes as desired.

Cheers!

mini carrot cake trifles

Remember these cute truffles from yesterday?

And remember how I said I'd show you how to use up the leftover ingredients?

Tadaaaaa!  Mini Carrot Cake Trifles!  So adorable!

And so easy to make.  But maybe too easy to eat.

I know from experience.  I took one bite.  Then another.  Then I ended up perched on a stool, halfway through taking pictures, and stuffing my face.

I should've known better.  When I first baked the carrot cake for the carrot cake truffles, I ate the edge around the entiiirrre cake.  It was so buttery and perfect.  Then, some naughty part of my brain told me to dip cake pieces into the liquid cheesecake.  Ohhhh mama.  I could barely stop myself from eating the whole cake.

But, I left just enough for the truffles and for these two mini trifles.

Oooh, that reminds me that Matt didn't eat his last night.  Excuse me while I go help myself.

Mini Carrot Cake Trifles
makes 2 mini trifles
Carrot Cake Truffle Recipe

Ingredients:
leftover carrot cake, crumbled
leftover liquid cheesecake
leftover milk crumb
pecans

Directions:
1. In the bottom of a mini trifle dish, add about an inch of crumbled cake.

2. Pipe a layer of liquid cheesecake, spreading it evenly with a spatula.

3. Sprinkle the milk crumb & pecans.

4. Repeat with another layer.

5. Enjoy & share with someone you love!

milk bar mondays - carrot cake truffles

I've got some fun news to share with you!

A group of my bloggy friends and I decided to start baking our way through the Momofuku Milk Bar cookbook.  The recipes in the cookbook are from the Momofuku Milk Bar in New York City, and the desserts are so innovative, fresh, and look friggin' delicious!  I am super duper excited to start baking them up and, of course, eat them!

Milk Bar Mondays will be held every three weeks, starting today.  Each week, someone will be the host and will have the featured recipe on their blog.  This week's recipe is hosted by Audra at The Baker Chick, so make sure you head over there for the recipe.

Let's talk about these truffles for a minute.  Hooooly crap they're awesome.  Each component was mind-blowingly good, but together?  Omigod!!!  Definitely my new favorite dessert!  Matt doesn't even like carrot cake, but he looooved these.

Carrot Cake Truffles totally require a cute bunny plate!

The recipe actually yields a lot of leftover ingredients.  So, you could just make more truffles, orrrrr you could come visit me tomorrow for another yummy treat.  :)

Don't forget, if you want the recipe, it's over at Audra's.  As for the rest of the Milk Bar Monday crew, meet the ladies!  Please go say hi and check out their takes on the Carrot Cake Truffles!

Cassie at Bake Your Day
Erin at Big Fat Baker
Jacqueline at The Dusty Baker
Krissy at Krissy's Creations
Meagan at Scarletta Bakes

Follow the Milk Bar Monday ladies on Twitter! 

I'll be hosting the next recipe on February 27, and it's a good one!

warm artichoke and bacon dip with pita chips

I don't even know who I am anymore.

A savory dish on Sweet Peony?  What is this madness?

Listening to country music while I baked this?  What the what??

Wait.

Intentionally listening to country music while I baked this?  WHO AM I?!?!!

I actually have a reasonable explanation for sharing a dish with zero sugar in it.  The Super Bowl is coming up.  Super Bowl ≠ Dessert.  Super Bowl = Snacks.  For as much as I love sweets and dessert, deep down, I am a snacky, eat Goldfish for dinner, salt-loving carboholic.


Aaaand that statement has made it clear to me that I have some serious dietary issues.

As I was saying, the Super Bowl demands dip.  So, I have provided you with dip.  Problem solved.


Now, this dip is- do I even need to say it?  I mean, it has bacon and cheese in it and it's baked until it's bubbly and gooey.  What do you think it's like?  (The answer is heaven.)

Buuuttttt, it took me a few times to get it right.  The first time I made this dip, I used a recipe I found.  I thought I had bought all of the ingredients, but I forgot the mayonnaise.  And since I had already changed out of my go out in public clothes into my comfy clothes and didn't want to change again, or drive 5 minutes to the store for stinkin' mayo, I decided to make my own mayonnaise, which, yes, I realize is actually more effort than going to the store.  My laziness knows no bounds.

Anywho, I made the dip with the homemade mayo and the whole thing separated.  Was it the mayo?  I have noooo idea.  But guess where I ended up later that day?  The store!  Which led me to the most awkward interaction with a Trader Joe's cashier.

TJ's cashier: "You know, you're never going to gain any weight with all this healthy stuff."
Me: "What?"
TJ's cashier: "Nobody likes a skinny Asian chick."
Me: "... Ha... ha........ ha."
TJ's cashier: "Seriously.  You want me to go get you some chips?"

Ooookay?  Apparently two tubs of mascarpone cheese, a block of cream cheese, whole milk, bacon, and a thing of mayonnaise qualify as healthy.  Weirdo.

So, I get home and try the dip again, and another failure.  Arrgghhhh!  Maybe it wasn't the mayo afterall.  I threw away that dadgum recipe and went to the store for the third time.  I put what I wanted in the dip and voila!  Perfection.  I guess third time really is the charm.


On the other hand, who knew pita chips were so easy to make at home?  Super easy and super crunchy.  Yummers.  This whole situation is a touchdown.  (Corrrrny!)


Anyway, this dip would be perfect for your Super Bowl party.  Or any day you just want something awesome to shove your face in.

Warm Artichoke and Bacon Dip with Pita Chips
makes one 9” baking dish of dip
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Ingredients:
For the Pita Chips:
1 teaspoon cumin
1 teaspoon chili powder
1/2 teaspoon coarse salt
5 pieces of pita
1-2 tablespoons extra virgin olive oil

For the Dip:
2 teaspoons extra virgin olive oil
12 oz. frozen artichokes, thawed and chopped
1/2 medium onion, finely chopped
2 cloves garlic, finely minced
1/4 teaspoon red pepper flakes
8 ounces mascarpone cheese
4 ounces cream cheese
1/2 cup parmesan cheese, grated
1/4 cup mayonnaise
5 strips bacon, cooked and crumbled, divided
1 teaspoon salt
1/2 teaspoon pepper

Directions:
For the Pita Chips:  Preheat oven to 400 degrees F.  

In a small bowl, combine the spices and salt.  Set aside.

Cut each pita into 8 wedges.  Place the pita wedges in a single layer on a baking sheet.  Drizzle the pita wedges with the olive oil, then sprinkle with the spice mixture.

Bake for 12-15 minutes, or until golden and crispy.

For the Dip:  Lower the oven temperature to 350 degrees F.

In a large skillet, add the oil, then cook the artichokes, onion, garlic, and red pepper flakes over medium-high heat until the artichokes begin to brown, about 8-10 minutes.

While the veggies are cooking, combine the cheeses, mayonnaise, half of the crumbled bacon, salt, and pepper in a large bowl.  When the veggies are done, add them to the bowl.  Mix well to combine.  Pour into a 9” baking dish.

Bake for 10-15 minutes, or just until the edges begin to bubble.  Remove from the oven and top with the remaining bacon crumbles.  Serve with the pita chips, tortilla chips, or crackers.  Enjoy!

And yeah. I don't even have a clue about the country music. Someone get me some help!